| killabee - September 05th, 2011 21:31 GMT |
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Here are some tag teams I would've loved to have seen during the kayfabe era that didn't exist. Feel free to add your own.
The Technicians: Bob Orton & Bret Hart
Mid-South/UWF 1985/1986, WWF 1987-1988
The excellence of execution right here, yo: Orton's loose yet tough & technical, unrpedictable improv style would mesh well with the Hitman's more crisp, tight yet similarly methodical mechanical style. Extra selling points: cowboy hats & second generation stars. Have them pound the crap out of teams like the Rock N Roll Express & the Fantastics before moving on to the WWF, beating the Bulldogs for the gold.
Team USSR: Nikolai Volkoff & Nikita Koloff & Alexis Smirnoff
managed by Ivan Koloff
JCP 1984-1986
World 6-Man Tag Team champs, the most dastardly lineup of evil commies to ever invade the wrestling world. Volkoff brings extra heat with him singing the Russian national anthem. Dusty Rhodes & other hard-working patriotic Americans routinely get brutalized by these cheating Bolsheviks, only to come back & triumph for America & apple pie.
Angelo Mosca & Ernie Ladd
managed by The Grand Wizard [WWWF]
WWWF 1978-1979, AWA 1980
The two giant football stars invade the WWWF & beat Bravo & DeNucci for the titles. They pound the tar out of babyface teams for 7 months or so before dropping the straps. They reunite as a babyface team in the AWA a year later, feuding with Adonis & Ventura.
Tully Blanchard & Larry Zbyszko
Georgia 1984, JCP 1985-1986, AWA 1986-1987, WWF 1987-1989
Couple of slick, hateful yuppies, capturing tag gold & getting booed wherever they go.
Bob Backlund & Jack Brisco
WWF 1984-1986
Instead of Windham & Rotundo getting the straps, Backlund teams up with Brisco in a legends tag team, considered "virtually unbeatable" because of their championship pedigree, until they get knocked off by:
Adorable Adrian Adonis & Beautiful Brutus Beefcake
managed by Sir Oliver Humperdink
WWF 1984-1987
Gay gimmick heat machine Dream Team! Adonis keeps the leather look, emulating a Castro St. leather boy, & only gradually becomes more effeminate in his look & affectations. In the meantime, Humpy is brought in mostly because of his name, & he wears glittery pink suits. Their theme music is Abba's "Dancing Queen." They win the titles, & later drop them to the British Bulldogs. After losing, they eventually split up & feud, with Brutus becoming the babyface Barber.
Bad Company: Owen Hart & Brian Pillman
AWA 1988-1989
Bruce Hart has to stay home & babysit the Stampede promotion, so Owen takes his place alongside Flyin' Brian in Bad Company, who hit the AWA to feud with Badd Company over the right to the name. They win the straps & defend them in the AWA, Stampede & Japan.
Rick Martel & Jacques Rougeau
Montreal, Florida, Memphis 1981-1982, AWA 1982-1983, WWF 1983-1984, WWF 1987-1988
The two most fabulous French Canadians team up & take their act on the road through the territories, to the big time in the WWF. They capture the WWF straps in 83, split up after they drop the belts, then reunite three years later for another run, this time as heels managed by Frenchy Martin.
Iron Mike Sharpe & Kelly Kiniski
managed by Gene Kiniski
Mid-Atlantic/Maple Leaf 1983
Big Thunder brings a couple of rough young canucks into the Carolinas. Under Gene's tutelage, the brawny brawler Iron Mike & the tough technician Kelly win the Mid-Atlantic tag team titles, & have a decent run for a couple of months. When they lose the titles, Kelly accidentally hits Sharpe, then gets pinned. Sharpe is agitated, & blames Kelly for the loss in an interview afterward. In a television squash match a few weeks later on Maple Leaf Gardens, Kelly tries to throw a punch, the jobber ducks, & he hits Sharpe, knocking him off the apron. When Sharpe climbs back up, oh he is steamed, & he just attacks Kelly. The bell rings, ref calls the match, jobbers leave, & while Gene enters the ring to try & break it up, Sharpe gains the upper hand on Kelly & tosses him over the top rope. Kelly hits his head on the railing, is knocked unconscious & starts bleeding. When Gene gets to Sharpe, Sharpe lays in a vicious attack, kicking & punching. He manages to knock Gene out. He climbs out of the ring, grabs a chair & bangs Kelly across the head, then drops him across the railing. He comes back into the ring & knocks Gene silly with the chair. Then he drapes Gene's knee across the bottom rope, & starts smashing his knee with a chair. He starts coming down on Gene's knee from the top rope. Sharpe grabs the mic & screams, "who's Canada's greatest athlete now, old man?" He spits on Gene & walks away, & Gene is stretchered out. This sets up a bloody feud with Kelly.
The Honky Tonk Country BoysHonky Tonk Man & Hillbilly Jim
managed by Jimmy Hart
WWF 1988-90
In a series of video vignettes, Hillbilly Jim is back home in Mud Lick, Kentucky, talking to his Mama, Myrtle Mae. He eventually learns that the Honky Tonk Man is his half brother. Shocked & in denial by the revelations, Hillbilly Jim is silent. Two weeks later, HTM is wrestling Hillbilly Jim's old buddy Hulk Hogan on SNME. Hillbilly has been with McMahon & Ventura at the announcer's table all evening when this match begins. Hogan dominates, & pounds the stuffing out of Honky. At some point, Honky catches a lucky break, & there's a ref bump; Hart tosses Honky his megaphone, & the Hulkster gets conked out. Honky keeps up his brutal attack on Hogan while the ref is out. Hillbilly Jim leaves the announcer's table, with McMahon saying, "there goes Hillbilly Jim to help out his best friend Hulk Hogan." Hillbilly comes up behind Honky, as the crowd cheers, & taps him on the shoulder: a scared HTM reels around & shoves the big Hillbilly. In response, Hillbilly... DROPS THE ELBOW ON HOGAN! The two start double teaming! When the good guys come to clear the ring, HTM, HBJ & Hart embrace & leave together. Later Hillbilly Jim cuts a promo saying how his Mama told him that family comes first. They start teaming.
The two cut a new them song "[Don't Go Messin' With] A Honky Tonk Man," and when they come down to the ring, HTM dances around with his guitar, while Jim goes around the ring, clapping & trying to slap hands, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the fans no longer like him. They headline Wrestlemania, defeating Hulk Hogan & The Ultimate Warrior, & squash Demolition in two minutes to become the tag champs. They reign for 16 months & become "the greatest tag team champions of all time" before [sorry, breaking kayfabe rule] bolting to Herb Abrams' UWF in 1991, & propelling said promotion into the leagues of competing with WWF & WCW, with the UWF eventually winning the wrestling wars because they keep Honky & Hillbilly on top for several years.
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